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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Just Max Will Be Fine.

I'm going to do the Madonna / Prince / Cher / Liberace / Sting / Yoda / Charo / Meatloaf / Pink / Moby / Eminiem / Bono thing. That is to say I'm going to become so famous that I'm simply known as Max. However that means I need to be the most famous Max, known to man. Thankfully my name is max and not say john. Trying to beat out say Kennedy or Lennon for fame would be tough. And those guys are even dead. The following is a list of the famous Maxs I can think of, and their claim to fame.
Max Baer Boxer
Sen. Max Baucus Senator
Max Planck Physicist
Max Born Physicist
Max Schleming Boxer
Max Kellerman TV Sports Guy
Max Weber Economist

It's entirely unclear how I'll accomplish this feat. Though I do think I should avoid the career path of physicist and boxer. The temptation for comparison would be to great. I think the first guy to beat is this Weber chap. Who has heard of him? the hardest might be a three way tie between Baucus, Kellerman, and Planck. The good new is that eventually Baucus will be out of office and forgottern, and Kellerman's show might well get canceled. Leaving only Planck.

Oddly enough, Max Baer is from Livermore like me.

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# posted by Max : 2/28/2006 11:36:00 PM 0 comments  

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Slow Down - PSA

Our crew cracks me up. One was carrying a heavy box whilst at the same time trying to check out a girl across the street. Well he couldn't manage both at the same time and half dropped the box. But the capper - he said, "Hey lady, this box weighs 50 pounds. Slow down.".

Which brings up an important public service announcement: Attractive Women - Be sensitive to your environment. Recognize that your presence may cause males (and many females) to lose concentration. This momentary lapse may directly cause accidents. Be especially careful around motorists, construction workers, heavy equipment operators, factory workers, train engineers, and nuclear power plant technicians. Your presence may cause injury or even death. Thank you for listening.

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# posted by Max : 2/16/2006 12:59:00 PM 0 comments  

Friday, February 10, 2006

A Hookah for Our Trouble

Sometimes I have a hard time naming the posts. Today is one of those occasions. So many topics are rolled up in today's edition.

I could have simply called it "Tenant Gone Missing II". This post is largely about our missing tenant who just up and left all our stuff. See: ?Tenant Gone Missing. We cleaned out his unit today.

Either "High Class Livin'" or "One More Place Forbidden to the Dogs" would have served nicely. Out of this deal we did get a lovely floral print couch. Now we are prepared to receive guests. I am a bit concerned that the location of the couch is far too close to the window. I don't want our prize to have faded upholstery.

We netted a whole collection of creepy dolls. "Attack of the Creepy Dolls". But they aren't attacking. and plus I'd rather not talk about them any more than I have to.

I do like "How Small Is Butte?". We have this really neat hierarchical master key system. Part of that is some padlocks that work with our master Schlage door keys. One of them went missing a few months back. How small is Butte? So small that we found the lock in a drawer in our missing tenant's house. That's how small.

I went with "A Hookah for Our Trouble". Well because somehow it sums up the whole event. Despite all the stuff in this guy's place one of the very few eBay-able items is a water bong.

NOTE A: Yes I am aware that a hookah is more like one of those four hose opium jobs one used to see in old cartoons. But if it matters to you then I'd like to float the notion that you spend too much time thinking about drug paraphernalia.

NOTE B: A special holla' to all you law enforcement types. In so far as I'm aware this bong is a legitimate tobacco consumption device and will be sold for that purpose only. In contrast the odd little glass pipe made from a light bulb and a sharpie will be disposed of. Sigh: If only I could find a way to harness the creative energies of drug users and focus it on something not lame.

NOTE C: I know what "two" means; I know that "too" is a synonym for also and can also be used to suggest degree. e.g.: "too much". I know that "to" is used to suggest "towards a destination" (e.g.:"to the store", "driven to distraction"), suggests extent (e.g.: "The road stretched from here to the mountains."), and is used in tandem with verbs (e.g.: "to have", "to make", "to smell", "to be"). My question is: Do I say "any more than I have to", because its short for "have to do"?

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# posted by Max : 2/10/2006 02:43:00 PM 1 comments  

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