Subscribe:

  • MAX
  • non-MAX
What is this?

Saturday, June 17, 2006

My Dog Tells Me Things

I am an excellent purveyor of good advice and all other things wise. But perhaps a change of speed is order. Today: the lessons that can be learned from Rocky.

  • Take three quick spins to make sure its cool to sit.
  • You only have to listen when your in arms reach.
  • Chewing on expensive personal electronics is a great stress reliever.
  • If you have the mind of pigeon no one is going to hold you accountable.
  • If your left alone its ok to vindictively destroy the belongings of others.
  • Food tastes best when you snag from someone who is in the can.
  • Unidentified gooey stuff that isn't for eating is for to rolling in.
  • If you do it enough, people just assume you cant control your slobber.
  • The best place to be is on the other side of the door.
  • It never hurts to piss on your own feet.
  • People are for sitting on.
  • Pitifully ugly gets you the chicks.
  • Crutches are freaky.
  • Despite their protests cats like to be chewed on.
  • If your worried, poop on the floor.
  • If you don't want to; just pretend you didn't hear.
  • Sharing an individual's attention is unacceptable.
  • Bathing is a punishment.
  • Chicks are strangely wierded out about being drooled on.
  • Falling is a close substitute for sitting.
  • Whining gets people out of bed.
  • Being mounted by a rottweiler is very disturbing.
  • Being cute gets you food.
  • People who freak out are just covering for their deep desire to pet you.
  • Regardless of what they want, its alright to make people ask you repeatedly.
  • It's a waste of time to beg from vegetarians.
  • Your the king when no one is watching.
  • Every dandelion requires extensive examination.
  • Asses are like dandelions.
  • Children are not to be trusted.
  • Facing the other way means no one can see you poop.

Labels: ,


# posted by Max : 6/17/2006 10:48:00 AM  
Comments: Post a Comment
Home

Montana Bloggers:

This great list was stolen from A History of Montana by Kodak.
Welcome to MikeAbleXray. You look like you could use a drink.